Living with aliens
by angrykarin666
Summary: Viper Morphus is your average teenage girl. When she and her brother Evan put up posters in the hopes of making new friends/roommates they're in for a real weird ride. Rated M for later chapters ect. Lemon spoiler!
1. Roomies

I wake slowly and stare at the ceiling listening to the sound of my brother's drool hitting the floor… I need to get some roommates or something… It is WAY too empty and lonely in this house. I mean me and my brother Evan live alone in a 4 bedroom house for Christ's sake! I get up and stare at my reflection. There stands Viper Morphus in a matching set of black underwear… I look average as far as looks go. I'm not skinny but I'm not chubby either! I'm kinda short at 5 feet 3 inches tall and I have long blood red hair I usually tie back somehow.

I feel like braids today! I quickly brush and braid my hair before searching through my closet for something to wear… Lets see… A pair of jeans, the only thing I'll ever wear… And… Aha! A white t-shirt with a spiral sun on the top left corner! Perfect!

Now that I'm dressed. Breakfast and waking the drool-monster! I rummage through the cupboards and pull out a box of pancake mix. I smile in accomplishment and go strait to finding the pan. Was it in the bottom or top cupboard? Um… eenie meenie minie THAT ONE! Bottom it is then! Come to mamm-ahhhh

… It's not there… I totally knew that! I open the top cupboard with much difficulty and try to reach the pan.

"Come here…come to Viper… Come ON!" It then rolled out and hit me on the head… It hurt…

After burning myself, stubbing my toe and accidentally flipping a pancake onto my head I finally had a pile of nice, circular pancakes! I was going to eat, I sat down and everything, and then I remembered Evan… Do I HAVE to feed my brother my hard work?… Sadly I do…

There's something you should know about my little brother… I not only raised him myself but he's not like other teens… I know every girl says this about her brother but he is GENUINELY not human! Evan is a xenomorph. A very lazy one too! He was currently sleeping in his spit hammock despite the fact he owns a bed. My brother was your typical drone except for his xeno-blood green headphones, white wife beater and baggy jeans. He always has his mp3 with him. Even while he watches TV and movies.

I smiled at my brother and his drool puddle… Or should I say drool stalagmite… I go up and say nicely "Evan… Breakfast time~!" He doesn't budge. Ok then… "EVAN! WAKE UP!" Still nada. I sigh and go back to the good old smack to the head routine… One smack and he jumps to the ceiling. "Breakfast." I say as I walk away. I put one of the pancakes onto my plate and before I can even move to grab another Evan wolfs down the rest… Once he's done he says "Nice shape… BAAAD taste… You REALLY suck at cooking sis!… No offence!" I growl at him remembering what I went through to make those pancakes "None taken!"

I hand Evan a pile of papers the same colour as his headphones. He tilts his head. "What are these for?" I glare at him and state "We are getting roommates, whether you want to or not! It is WAAAY to quiet and lonely in here and I want some friends!" I walk out the door with him and leave to put up posters.

Just imagine it! A roommate or two that could be cute guys who fight over me! Or better yet! A hunky guy with nice hair and eyes for me and a pretty xeno-loving girl for my brother!… Neither will ever happen!

I look at my pile of only six papers and sigh. I was almost done! I searched for a surface unused by me. All posts, trees and boards are used up and Evan is probably already done and sitting at home watching TV while listening to his mp3! I groaned in complaint and smack my head against a nearby tree in frustration.

"Are you ok miss?"

"I'm fine… Just frustrated cause I've covered every surface in town with these papers and can't leave until I put these up…"I say with a sigh. He 'hmm's and suggests "You can give some to me and I'll put them up on my information board for my customers… " I smile and turn asking "Would you?" He nods. I stare at him. He was tall with leathery dreads, reptilian skin, no eyes, a xenomorph tail, mandables and xenomorph style legs. He was wearing a red t-shirt, jeans and a black leather jacket.

I smiled and introduced myself "I'm Viper! Please give these to anyone you know who needs a place to stay and doesn't mind xenomorphs!`` He smiled back and stated ``Me and my brother were looking for something… Maybe we could come over later?`` I nod and smile. ``I'd like that!` We stood in silence together before he introduced himself. ``I'm Prince.``

When I got home I found Evan chilling with his new roommates… Another drone and some cross between a xenomorph and a human teenager… The other drone was in a black t-shirt and tan cargo pants. His name was Draco and he was really sweet for someone who lived up to his aggressive sounding name. The other orange-ish skinned hybrid was named Allen and was a videogame nut Evan met in the grocery store… Allen wore baggy camo-pants and a black Mario t-shirt with a 1-up mushroom on the front.

The two chose to crash in Evan's room as fellow drones and left the two spare rooms still empty.

Good thing Prince and his brother are coming! I knew I would have to wait for them to come but I didn't care! I sat cross-legged on the couch and exclaimed "Let the waiting begin!"…

I don't think you understand… But absolutely every second you spend waiting for something is more excruciating then the last… Time goes in slow motion like snails stuck in molasses… INJURED snails stuck in molasses trying to go uphill on a 75 degree angle… With bricks glued to their backs!

Finally there was a knock on the door. I scrambled to it, slipping and hitting my head on it when unable to stop running. I rubbed my aching forehead and smiled at Prince and the guy who was obviously his brother. "That sounded like it hurt…"Prince stated as he walked in. I shrug modestly "I'm a klutz so I'm used to it!" Prince's brother was the same height with similar looks except for his golden eyes, spiked tail barb, normal legs and lack of mandables. Even their outfits were similar! The only difference was that Prince's leather jacket was replaced by a black puffy vest!

"I'm Spike… It's very nice to meet you miss." The other said before kissing my hand. I went redder than a ripe strawberry. His voice was pretty sexy and he was REALLY polite and romantic! I can't believe it but I think I'm hitting on an alien who is actually pretty lacking when it comes to most of my little wants in a man! Someone pinch me I think I'm dreaming! No… it's real… AWESOME! "P-please! C-c-call me Viper!" I stutter after struggling to form words like I usually do.

Spike smiles at me and states "You're pretty cute when you stutter like that…" I cover my face in embarrassment and drift off into my own little dream world. One where I date, marry and love this guy…

I enjoy it until my mind reaches one eventual outcome of it that sends me shooting back to earth like a meteor… Kids… I would die birthing his child, like mom did with Evan, and it would be absolutely HIDDEOUS! I shivered a little in my mental emo corner and stared at the room full of xenomorphs…

Living here and cooking for six would be murder!… But I'll survive…SOMEHOW!


	2. Apollo

I couldn't sleep… I haven't slept since we got our roommates! Today was the fourth night strait and it was getting ridiculous! Evan, Allen and Draco were all drooling in their sleep non-stop and spike and Prince were asleep in their room having sleep fights with each other. And when I say they're having an epic battle with each other in their sleep, I mean it! "Viper Elizabeth Harmony Morphus you are slowly but surely becoming an insomniac…" And now I'm talking to myself! GREEAAAT! Just friggin perfect!

I got up and walked to the living room, falling out of bed and bumping into a few things along the way. I walk into the couch "FUCK! AUUUGGH! Son of a-!" I sigh and flip myself over the back of the couch for the sake of being lazy and already in enough pain to not care about any more. I'm surprised I can't sleep with how exhausted I am doing all the laundry, dishes, cleaning and cooking in the house! I sigh again and groan in complaint at my own new sleeping issues… I'm friggin tired…

Someone knocks at the door and I lazily go up and answer it after bumping into a few things. A muscular alien man with dreads, mandables, talons, blood red eyes, dark grey reptilian skin with black speckling and sharp teeth wearing gold metallic armour with netting covering exposed skin stood in the doorway. He held one of my fliers in his hands and states "I'm Apollo… I came here for a room." I nod and reply "Follow me… I'm Viper-OWWW! Holymarymotherofchrist! That-friggin-HURT!"

The alien was part of a race called… yaut'ja I think… He snickered at my pain and pointed out "You bumped into quite a few things in plain sight…" I glared at him… Well… I think it was him… It's kinda dark and a little blurry… "I feel kinda tired…" I say as I point at his room. "It's right across from mine… I'll be on the couch if -yawn- you need me…" I went about five steps before everything went dark.

-Apollo's POV-

Great… She collapsed! That woman is a menace! I sigh and drag her into her room. At least now she won't interrupt other peoples' business in the morning! I remove all my armour except my loincloth.

That was a lot of weight off my shoulders… I fall back onto my bed and close my eyes. Time to relax…

-Viper's POV-

I woke up on the floor of my room. DAMB! My neck HURTS! That's what I get for sleeping on the floor… But I was in the hall wasn't I? Apollo must've put me in here… He could've at least put me on my bed! Otherwise why waste your effort moving me? "AUGH! MEN!"I growled and walked into the hell formerly known as my quiet and empty home…

Allen, Evan and Draco were playing Halo on the TV in their room, Apollo was emoing in the corner and looking like he was about to go Jason Voorhees on someone's ass, Spike was watching the football game on the flat screen in the living room and Prince was sitting on the couch doing fuck all except staring at the yaut'ja who seemed to have magically appeared… Time for breakfast… goody…

After a few band-aids worth of cuts, burns and a few bruises I finally have enough bacon, sausage and green onion omelettes for seven people. Hopefully Apollo enjoys my cooking as much as the other aliens… Minus Evan of course! The lot of them wolf down the pile like a school of famished piranha!

Where as I took normal bites like the woman I am… "Nice!" was what the gamers said before returning to their dark cave of seclusion. "Amazing as always Viper!" was the predalien brothers. Apollo however was the person I wanted to impress. He currently sat picking his teeth with his talons.

Eventually the awkward silence got to me… "Sooo… What did you-"

"Think of your cooking?" Oh god he's looking at me! He looks absolutely SMEXY… Did I just say that?

"Y-yeah…" Oh my god this is like a scene from those cheesy romance movies I can't stand! What happens in this scene again? I CAN'T REMEMBER! God dammit I hate this suspense!

"It was… Hmmm… How do I say this?" Oh god! He's muscular, has nice hair and eyes AND he must love my cooking! It's too good to be true! "Oh yeah! Well ooman… Your cooking kinda -" YEEEEEEEES! "It kinda sucks…" What?… "It tasted like you poisoned it or something. No offence woman." I ground my teeth together "**None - taken**…" I looked at myself, still wearing yesterday's navy top and jeans… Time for a new outfit and hairstyle!

I decided on the black tank top and baggy camouflage pants. My hair was in a high ponytail and my mind was set to work. I started on today's chores of the housekeeping and kept myself occupied with that. The entire time I had Apollo watching me like a hawk, laughing whenever I accidentally hurt myself. Once I was done I stared at my hard work which would most likely need to be repeated in a few days… God men are such pigs for people so lazy!…

"H-hey V-v-v-viper do you w-wanna join? W-we need a f-f-fourth player…" It was Allen… He was blushing and shy because we're wearing the same outfit? That's actually kinda cute in an adorable, dopey, xenomorph, drooling teenage boy sort of way! I nod and follow the orange boy into Evan, Draco and his dark videogame cave. Draco didn't seem to mind me but my brother automatically protested my joining. "You can't let HER join! She'll lose all the time and say we're cheating!" I glared at my brother quickly and smart mouthed my way into the game. "Well if you won't let me play because you're a sexist asshole then I'll just stop cooking for you and see how long you'll survive wise ass!"

He reluctantly agreed to let me play under the condition I don't complain when I lose…

Apparently my brother doesn't know that I friggin LOVE to play halo! I whooped all their asses so hard they looked like they were gonna have heart attacks!


	3. Work

Viper groaned as she drug herself from her bed, cursing as she preceded to stub her toes and knee on various nearby furniture. As the redhead slipped on a pair of beige camo print cargos and struggled into her white tank-top, she hopped into the living room. Oblivious to the stares she was drawing with the commotion she continued cursing as she fought her combat boots onto her feet, ramming herself backwards into several walls.

The girl noticed her company when the less than subtle chuckling of Apollo broke the not so silent early morning air. Viper shot the yautja a quick glare before returning to her scrambling.

The 19 year old hastily put together a quick breakfast of toast and orange juice and wolfed it down as she tied her firey locks back in a loose ponytail. Apollo's ceaseless stares eventually got to her and she spat out "WHAT?!"

"Aren't you forgetting someone here?"

Viper looked at the dark hunter with surprise. Despite the rudeness of his remark, he was genuinely asking for her cooking. "I thought you didn't like my cooking..." the girl stated in a grudge showing tone.

The yautja huffed and looked away, an almost embarrassed look on his face. "Don't get me wrong, it still sucks... I just prefer it over any of their cooking!" His hatred of the others and their kind was hardly subtle.

The two sat in silence for a few moments before he continued "So. Are you gonna make me something or what?!" Viper sighed, slight agitation visable on her voice "Fine... Just don't expect anything fancy, I'm still pretty pissed at you..."

The twins walked into the dining room, the smoke from the adjacent kitchen making their senses numb and vision blurry. They joined Draco and Allen at the table, quizical looks on their face as they watched Evan (not Viper) carrying in their breakfast. If one could even call it that...

Just about everything the xeno teen had made was burnt beyond recognition, even the oatmeal and cereal were burnt!

"Uh... Thanks Evan... I guess" Spike says as he tries to take a bite from the charcoal brick that was supposed to be toast.

The group tried to eat, the awkward silence broken only by the sounds of the alien boy struggling to eat their "food". After fighting back gags swallowing a spoonful of cereal Prince blurted out "I can't do it. I can't eat this... How did you even manage to ruin something as simple as cereal?!"

The mp3 loving teen shrugged "I only cook for myself when Viper's at work, and it tastes good enough to me..."

The predalien hissed in frustration "You have no tastebuds if you think THIS is good..."

The gamers perked up at their roomie's comment. "Viper went to work?" they said in unison.

"Yep"

Spike joined in, pushing his plate's contents into the nearby trashcan as he asked "Where does she work?"

Evan wolfed down his meal and cracked a mischievous smirk.

"Follow me, i'll show you."

Viper smiled as she stood before her workstation. Soon enough a group of excited zoo visiters would enter the Reptile House, filled with children and squeamish women she could petrify in whatever way she could with her many scaly charges. She could handle one of the larger, more potentially dangerous animals to amaze them, or freak them out with a bunch of interesting -albeit disturbing and creepy - facts about the many creatures here.

The best part was that she was paid to do it.

As the sounds of laughter and awe echoed towards her the teen adjusted her uniform. Finally she would have some people to scare!  
But as the group rounded the corner her excitement was replaced by surprise.

"Evan?! Spike?! Prince and the others too?!" The redhead looked from one xeno to the next, shock apparent on her face. "What are you all doing here?!"

The girl's bother shrugged and explained "The guys were wondering where you worked so I brought them here for the tour."  
Viper glared at her sibling, red staining her cheeks. Sighing, she looked at the others briefly before motioning to lead them through the complex. "Come on, i'll show you around..."

The boys stared in awe as the teen showed off her other reptilian company. The boys were especially surprised when the girl removed a large python from it's cage and draped it over her shoulders.

After spouting out the names and a few brief facts about each animal that caught their eye their hostess preceded to take them to the nearby exit. As the group were preparing to leave she called out to them "Have a look around the other habitats, i'll meet you in a couple hours when my shift is over."

The teens smiled and parted ways. It seemed as though the lot of them were going to get along just fine...


End file.
